PASTORS WIVES ARE FRUSTRATED
By Mudson Ng’andu
Now! If you haven’t been in my inbox, coaching sessions and you don’t know what phone calls I receive, shut up or scroll down to the next article. This one is not for babies.
I know for some of you, the only time you get to see mai busa, is when she is well dressed, make up on point, smiling and seated in front with a table full of fruits, sweets, juice and water.
She looks like the perfect role model and you just want to be like her. Well, not all that glitters is gold. A number of smiling mai busas, especially those married to young new age pastors and prophets, are very frustrated and stuck. Actually, they advise their single friend not to marry pastors.
They won’t say how frustrated they are, because the church has been taught and told; the pastors’ marriage is perfect, without blemish and must be emulated by all congregants, so to avoid confusing the church, she has to live a life of pretence… Ouch.
Let me start with financial issues. Did you know that there are number of pastors who are broke, and the wife knows how broke the man is? Please help your man of God whenever you can, they are suffering financially.
Between Monday and Saturday, the man is broke and has no way of making money. A lot of things are missing in the house and she knows. But when it comes on sunday, she has to be noding her head, agreeing with him that God is blessing them, even when she knows its not true.
He shares testimonies on stage that never happened and the wife has to agree. Ouch. And yet when they get home, there is no money for even simple basic needs. She knows, without the so called “prophetic offering” they would sleep hungry.
She wishes she could tell the man, “find something to do so that you can make genuine money” but the man is so pacified and papalised by his papa who does not even give him money and he believes one day, he too will also buy a private jet.
Thats why he dresses like his papa and wears suits, taken on credit, so that he can take pictures in smart clothes and make facebook prophecies. And the wife has to play along without having anyone to talk to because she is scared they will judge her husband. She stays in quiet desperation…
Second, it’s the issue of romance. Not all, but a number of these new age young pastors are emotionally anavailable to their spouses. If you ask me, most of them are more available to their papa, and to their spiritual daughters, than they are to their wives.
They think its enough to just say “this is my wife” without being there for the wive. A number of them are unmentored in the field of romance too. They think they know and instead of learning from others, they are there doing marriage seminars..
What do you know about marriage to do a marriage seminar already? This feeling of being infallible makes them too proud to learn from others and so the wife has to be strong without enjoying romance.
Lets talk about sex, the man has theories about what is not a christian way of making love, so he leaves the wife frustrated because she can’t get what she wants.
Do I need to go into details to say some have never even had an orgasm before. Because the style she needs to cum is considered “unchristian”… I leave this here, there are children on my page.
The man has never bought pizza for the wife, never taken her for a good meal at some exotic place, because its either he is at the mountain or has a program with papa. And through all this, the lady has no one to talk to…
When she wants him to cuddle in bed, the man is already up, praying. The best she has ever done is pray about it. On the weekend, she has to lift up holy hands like all is well.
Even giving marital advise to ladies who had multiple orgams last night, after dinner with portuguese chicken at a five star hotel. I rest my case and wait for blows from papalised people.
*And this idea of making your wife a pastor just because you are a pastor is not right. Just because you are called, does not mean she is called. Stop putting unnecessary pressure on your wife. Be the pastor, let her be your wife. Fulustop.
[ Source : Zambianobserver.com]