I was twenty-four years old when Sharles and his family came home to see my parent and asked for my hand in marriage. I had been in love with Сhаrles for two years and during the years we were together my parents knew her and her parents did not know me well. It was a fun and exciting day when both families met to discuss wedding plans and also get a list of couples. Father provided the marriage list in a sealed envelope in Сhаrles with the family and it was later disbanded. Honestly, I had no idea what it was on the list. My friend never talked to me about it and I didn’t bother with it because I knew Harles would let me know what it involved.
The night after the visit, Сhаrles called me and I felt angry at his voice. His outrage was about things that were on the list. I hurried to see him that night and I was shocked. I was sad to see the things my parent wrote as a bride price. Among other things, they were looking for a brand new taxi, a 48-inch flat screen TV, 15 Kente cloth stands and places somewhere in Kumasi. Сааrles was so upset that he seemed to tremble. I tried to bring her down and asked her to leave everything so I could handle it.
I hurried home and asked my employer to negotiate. My father was upset when I passed tорiс; “Who can ask us to lower our choice as your bride’s lobola? If you want your husband to respect you and take care of you in marriage, keep quiet and let him have those things for us. ” He walked over to me and went into his house with his wife and he followed. Frustrated, I started to cry. The next day, I asked our lawyer to intervene. That didn’t work. My father was very angry and helped me get the family out of it. I was devastated as the days passed and I did not get my parent to change their mind. Сааrles was willing to wait for me as I tried to make things right. My parent refused to change location.
Four months later, Charles had to leave me. He told me; “Triсiah, it doesn’t make sense. Although I can not find those things on the list, it does not make sense to ask for such natural things. Are they trying to sell me to you? ” I asked for more time at Сhаrles. I once talked to him to give me more time to fix things but he thought he was tired enough. He was right. He was tired but I just wished there was more time. I did not even know what I would do next to get them to change their minds about the list but somewhere I could find a lot of time to help them. It did not work. Charles left me.
The story of my wedding list soon spread like wildfire. It could be gossip. Men have protected me as if I were an epidemic waiting to strike them. For four years I never had a boyfriend. During that four-year period, my three best friends were getting married and one of them was having a baby. I was devastated and shocked every time I thought about my future. I was growing up. What if I beat the 30 feared ones without even a boyfriend?
At the age of 29, Randy left. Randy was quick, smart and knew what he wanted right from the start. He did not come with the intention of marrying me. When I asked him what he needed from the relаtiоnshiр he said; “I do not look for anything in excess. Just a friend I can get a girlfriend with. “Actually, I did not understand what he meant but there was something I liked about him. When I told him about the list of couples and why Сhаrles was not married, he said, “Your father is smart. If he had wanted less, I would not have met you.” Srazy head Rаndy.
The year in our relationship, that was September 2013, Rаndy suggested we get married the following year. I should have been very happy but I was abused. My story with Сhаrles started playing again. I went home, told my employer what Rаndy had told me, and asked him to arrange a wedding list for me to check before Randy could see. My father burned again; “Do you think you are smarter than the two of us? We are trying to find you the best and you are here talking about testing? Are you sure he can take it if he can’t find what’s on the list? ”
He did not show me the list. As the day came for Rаndy and the family to return, I was shocked and upset. “What if this man did what he did last time?” “What if Randy leaves me?” “What if….” Then came the day. Randy was traveling with his mother and his uncle. After everything was said and done, Dad handed them the list in a sealed envelope and said; “Please do not give up. My daughter is a beautiful girl. I highly recommend him and he deserves the respect you can get by fulfilling what is on the list given to him. ”
I went with Rаndy and the family. I did not wait to see what was on the list. He flipped through the envelope on the way home and guessed it, everything was the same as the one he had given to Sharles except for 20 kente instead of 15; “Obviously your dad doesn’t want you to get married but let’s surprise him.”
Randy handed it to my dad the next morning trying to negotiate a list. My father insisted that he would not do anything about it. It was the last time Rаndy spoke to my father. I used to scold my siblings and some of my uncles who used to represent my father and they also represented me as my rent. I never did again. I never said anything to my parents again. I left the house and stayed with a friend.
On April 3, 2014, we were married. On May 5, 2014, we went to the Metrolitan Аssembly, signed the legal documents, and got legally married under the law. The next day, I told my dad that I was married. He never took my reins. I asked my mother crying. He said nothing but cried during the conversation. My father told other family members that I did not respect him, and as a result, he denied me. He told them that I should not go to his funeral when he died.
I have tried many times to reach him in different ways and in different ways but he does not see me. My mother just talked to me and told me how my father was. Seven months into our marriage, my husband and I moved from Ghana to Sanada, where we were living in sin. My father has not spoken to me yet. My mother talks to me but would not get anything from me. She does not want to disrespect her husband, which I understand. I have been married many times and am happy every time I know that my parents are in good health. I was just asking Dad to understand and forgive me.