The secret code of the female libido has been notoriously hard to crack. It seems science has it all figured out when it comes to helping boners stand at full attention, but when it comes to vaginas, well, it becomes way more complicated.
One of the biggest reasons is that sex drive in women can’t be boiled down to just getting one organ to do its job. Rather, experts believe a combination of factors influence libido, many of which are mental and emotional, not just physiological. Which makes it difficult to pinpoint why you can’t get in the mood.
Women’s sexual desires naturally fluctuate over the years. Highs and lows commonly coincide with the beginning or end of a relationship or with major life changes, such as pregnancy, menopause or illness. Some medications used for mood disorders also can cause low s*x drive in women.
If your lack of interest in s*x continues or returns and causes personal distress, you may have a condition called s*xual interest/arousal disorder.
But you don’t have to meet this medical definition to seek help. If you’re bothered by a low s*x drive or decreased sex drive, there are lifestyle changes and s*xual techniques that may put you in the mood more often. Some medications may offer promise as well.
If you want to have s*x less often than your partner does, neither one of you is necessarily outside the norm for people at your stage in life, although your differences may cause distress.
Similarly, even if your s*x drive is weaker than it once was, your relationship may be stronger than ever. Bottom line: There is no magic number to define low s*x drive. It varies among women.
Symptoms of low s*x drive in women include:
Having no interest in any type of s*xual activity, including ma*turbation
Never or only seldom having s*xual fantasies or thoughts
Being concerned by your lack of s*xual activity or fantasies
When to see a doctor
If you’re concerned by your low desire for s*x, talk to your doctor. The solution could be as simple as changing a medication you are taking, and improving any chronic medical conditions such as high blood pressure or diabetes.
Desire for s*x is based on a complex interaction of many things affecting intimacy, including physical and emotional well-being, experiences, beliefs, lifestyle, and your current relationship. If you’re experiencing a problem in any of these areas, it can affect your desire for s*x.
1. Physical Causes
A wide range of illnesses, physical changes and medications can cause a low s*x drive, including:
- S*xual problems. If you have pain during s*x or can’t orga*m, it can reduce your desire for s*x.
- Medical diseases. Many nons*xual diseases can affect s*x drive, including arthritis, cancer, diabetes, high blood pressure, coronary artery disease and neurological diseases.
- Medications. Certain prescription drugs, especially antidepressants called selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, are known to lower the s*x drive.
- Lifestyle habits. A glass of wine may put you in the mood, but too much alcohol can affect your s*x drive. The same is true of street drugs. Also, smoking decreases blood flow, which may dull arousal.
- Surgery. Any surgery related to your brea*ts or genital tract can affect your body image, s*xual function and desire for s*x.
- Fatigue. Exhaustion from caring for young children or aging parents can contribute to low s*x drive. Fatigue from illness or surgery also can play a role in a low s*x drive.
2. Hormone Changes
Changes in your hormone levels may alter your desire for s*x. This can occur during:
Menopause. Estrogen levels drop during the transition to menopause. This can make you less interested in s*x and cause dry v*ginal tissues, resulting in painful or uncomfortable s*x. Although many women still have satisfying s*x during menopause and beyond, some experience a lagging libido during this hormonal change.
Pregnancy and breast-feeding. Hormone changes during pregnancy, just after having a baby and during breast-feeding can put a damper on s*x drive. Fatigue, changes in body image, and the pressures of pregnancy or caring for a new baby also can contribute to changes in your s*xual desire.
3. Psychological Causes
Your state of mind can affect your s*xual desire. There are many psychological causes of low s*x drive, including:
- Mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression
- Stress, such as financial stress or work stress
- Poor body image
- Low self-esteem
- History of physical or s*xual abuse
- Previous negative s*xual experiences
4. Relationship Issues
For many women, emotional closeness is an essential prelude to sexual intimacy. So problems in your relationship can be a major factor in low s*x drive. Decreased interest in s*x is often a result of ongoing issues, such as:
- Lack of connection with your partner
- Unresolved conflicts or fights
- Poor communication of s*xual needs and preferences
- Trust issues
5. You’re Skimping On Sleep
A 2015 study published in the Journal of S*xual Medicine found that, for women, more sleep led to higher levels of s*xual desire and better arousal the next day. In fact, just one more hour of sleep was linked to a 14 percent increase in the odds a woman would engage in s*xual activity with a partner. Just another good reason to get some quality shut-eye every night.